By Mary Worrell
As is often the case when you delve into higher education or any focused learning effort, you simultaneously become consumed by your subject of study and out of touch with it. Thankfully I couldn’t become too out of touch since I have been a teacher throughout my MAET courses. As I move forward from this step in my learning, I want to become even more connected to my practice in a thoughtful way and move beyond seeing it as a “course of study.”
Online learning is how I plan to do most of my own professional development and is, I believe, the way most teachers will do so given the cost-effective nature of the method and its convenience. However, I aim to be more intentional about how I do this. In the past I tended to virtually surround myself with all the thought leaders in education. I would subscribe to their Twitter feeds and RSS feeds. I would scroll through my feeds – and scroll and scroll – saving links to read later, scanning articles, retweeting occasionally, but rarely ever applying that learning.
As an English teacher, I’m always looking for an apt metaphor. So far my consumption of online content has been like a mindless couch potato, eating this and eating that. We are what we eat and I want to taste this metaphorical “food” that I’m allowing in through the screens in my life. I want to be more intentional about what I consume and how. You might think that after completing a technology-focused master’s program I would be touting all of the blogs and feeds I plan to read! However, I’m doing the opposite. I’ve already unsubscribed to much of what used to clog up my feeds. Instead, I’m going to intentionally (and cautiously) curate my own resources that will give me a broad view of my practice as well as opportunities for deep dives into issues I care about. I want to avoid the filter bubble, so I plan to seek out opposing views and thinkers.
I get overwhelmed trying to consume it all. I’ve found over the years that exposing myself to so many different ideas and opinions, while interesting, has the opposite effect of what I intended. Instead of diving into something in my classroom and giving something a try, I find myself searching and Googling to see who has done it already. This is good in many cases – to learn from those who have come before and seek out evidence to support an idea – but it has become a crutch for me. I want to cultivate my own expertise. While being a resourceful online learner is an incredible strength of mine, I don’t want it to be the only strength. I can feel myself becoming like Ben Hur only rowing with one arm. It’s time to exercise some of those other muscles.
In the future I want to prioritize reflection and make it a habit. We all reflect, moment to moment in the classroom, but I need to do more reflection in an intentional way and document it. My blog has been gathering dust and coming out of the shadows only rarely when I have something I want to say. And maybe that’s the most genuine thing to do with a blog, but I’ve found myself writing posts and then never posting them. I don’t like this behavior and I think it’s a manifestation of fear – fear of making a mistake or looking like a fool. I encourage my students to take risks and fall down all the time. I need to push myself to do the same and by blogging more regularly about my lessons and reflecting on the ups and downs is a way to do that.
Beyond this more intentional form of online professional development and reflection, I want to continue to be a student and learn new things. I’ve been thinking about buying a book on computer programming for a while and working through it. After the dust settles on my MAET chapter, I may finally add it to my Amazon shopping cart and commit to it. I can feel the expert bias creeping back into my life as I move away from being a student again and I want to resist it. If I can continue to try new things, maybe that will keep it at bay.
If computer programming doesn’t work out, there’s always the bucket list item of knitting a sweater. I’ve been content making lots of hats and scarves. I event went out on a limb and made a pair of mittens once. But the sweater still scares me. There are so many places to go wrong. And I know that’s why I have to attempt it.